So you created a new liquor/energy drink/electric cigarette and have some gimmick you think is so cool. You are now trying to get the place people go to spend money whether they have it or not. A bar. As kind of a big deal at my bar you will probably have to interact with me and convince me to sell your vodka/recovery drink/state of the art condoms over the other other guy's organic spirit/non gmo mixer/vitamin enhanced molly. Here are some things to do and not to do in this situation. These are based on my two most recent interactions.
DO introduce yourself, and remember my name. Not that hard. It is the same as the state we live in.
DON'T upon hearing my name comment that I must be a Falcons/Dawgs fan. Or that I MUST be from the state. I am none of these.
DO explain upon introducing yourself which company you are with and the product you are selling.
DON'T stand at my bar creepily staring at me and then point at your shirt with your product's logo. I don't have time for that even if I am not doing anything else.
DO give me your card.
DON'T show up with out one, expect me to put your contact info in my phone, mine in yours, or even remember meeting you without a card.
DO offer me incentives to give my staff.
DON'T try to impress me with a nice promo car and promo girls dressed like hookers when my clientele are prettier and drinve nicer cars. A little research would be nice.
DO come in the afternoon when I am not busy.
DON'T come in at 8 during a dinner rush.
DON'T come in at close then stay for 2 hours after we are closed not buying aything and using our restaurant like your personal space.
DON'T under any circumstances ask me if a lot of "brothers hit on me because I have a fat ass". I know sometimes think that is a compliment in Atlanta, but it is unprofessional and is the quickest way for me to never sell your product. And to tell other people not to sell it. Seriously. I've been behind a bar for almost 10 years. 10 years of fat ass comments have built many layers of bitch.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
I Know I'm Late on Political Banter
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Visiting Indiana Makes Me Happy I Live in Atlanta
I recently went to Indiana for a whirlwind family reunion/visit friends tour of Indianapolis and 2 hours north of Indianapolis in a corn field. All in all I had a great time! I really haven't gotten to see my family as much as I expected, mostly out of the fact I expected to be able to find work in my field after college and not have to go back. But it is a place to visit. Here are some reasons I enjoy living in Atlanta:
It is 80 degrees outside in Atlanta. In October.
There are things to do in Atlanta. Everything does not close on Mondays.
There are things other than cheese on menus.
Tater tots are real tater tots. Not weird breaded fried potatoes. (I find this one strange because tots are a great thing on which to put the massive amounts of cheese people in Midwest seem to have.)
Putting money in a meter usually prevents one from getting a parking ticket.
I did have some corned beef nachos with beer cheese at one place. That was tasty.
Now before getting on my case about liking Atlanta more than Indy and still being a Colts fan just remember the Bills have fans all over the country. They are all over the country for a reason....
It is 80 degrees outside in Atlanta. In October.
There are things to do in Atlanta. Everything does not close on Mondays.
There are things other than cheese on menus.
Tater tots are real tater tots. Not weird breaded fried potatoes. (I find this one strange because tots are a great thing on which to put the massive amounts of cheese people in Midwest seem to have.)
Putting money in a meter usually prevents one from getting a parking ticket.
I did have some corned beef nachos with beer cheese at one place. That was tasty.
Now before getting on my case about liking Atlanta more than Indy and still being a Colts fan just remember the Bills have fans all over the country. They are all over the country for a reason....
Thursday, September 27, 2012
UT Kids Are Down With Alcohol Enemas
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. —
The University of Tennessee is investigating allegations that fraternity members took alcohol enemas, leading one student to be hospitalized, and a national fraternity has suspended its chapter in Knoxville.
The Knoxville News Sentinel (http://bit.ly/Pndf7d) reports the practice came to light Saturday when a student was brought to a local hospital with alcohol poisoning. Police said his blood alcohol was measured at above 0.40, a level that can be fatal.
After questioning the young people who brought him to the emergency room, officers determined that he had consumed the alcohol rectally, Knoxville police said Monday. Authorities said the technique is supposed to enhance the effects of alcohol.
Police said he had received a wine enema at the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter house. Eleven students and a visitor there were cited for underage consumption of alcohol.
Times sure have change since I was in college. Gone are the days of Edward 40 Hands, Star Wars Drinking Games, stupid card games that know one REALLY knows the rules to, and random concoctions of cheap liquor in a new trash can mixed with copious amount sTampico and Kool-aid. Sit back and be nostalgic about those good ol' days because the new trend is here. Enemas. WTF.
Let's ignore the fact that since the dawn of alcohol, people have been drinking it. With their mouths. To produce warm fuzzy, euphoric, slutty effects. Not so anymore. Just spend $3 on a bottle of wine at Trader Joes and shove that straight into the pooper. Celebrating a big Volunteer win? Try some Andre or Cook's champagne. The bubbles are divine. Trust me, members of the opposite sex think this is a really sexy way to get sloppy drunk and take advantage of you.
What really gets me is TWELVE people were cited. Were they all just standing around in a circle giving each other adult colon flushes? What the hell is wrong with college kids these days? Good god, shit like this makes me sound like my mother.
The Knoxville News Sentinel (http://bit.ly/Pndf7d) reports the practice came to light Saturday when a student was brought to a local hospital with alcohol poisoning. Police said his blood alcohol was measured at above 0.40, a level that can be fatal.
After questioning the young people who brought him to the emergency room, officers determined that he had consumed the alcohol rectally, Knoxville police said Monday. Authorities said the technique is supposed to enhance the effects of alcohol.
Police said he had received a wine enema at the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter house. Eleven students and a visitor there were cited for underage consumption of alcohol.
Times sure have change since I was in college. Gone are the days of Edward 40 Hands, Star Wars Drinking Games, stupid card games that know one REALLY knows the rules to, and random concoctions of cheap liquor in a new trash can mixed with copious amount sTampico and Kool-aid. Sit back and be nostalgic about those good ol' days because the new trend is here. Enemas. WTF.
Let's ignore the fact that since the dawn of alcohol, people have been drinking it. With their mouths. To produce warm fuzzy, euphoric, slutty effects. Not so anymore. Just spend $3 on a bottle of wine at Trader Joes and shove that straight into the pooper. Celebrating a big Volunteer win? Try some Andre or Cook's champagne. The bubbles are divine. Trust me, members of the opposite sex think this is a really sexy way to get sloppy drunk and take advantage of you.
What really gets me is TWELVE people were cited. Were they all just standing around in a circle giving each other adult colon flushes? What the hell is wrong with college kids these days? Good god, shit like this makes me sound like my mother.
Friday, September 14, 2012
I'm Kind of a Big Deal
So in my efforts to make a difference in the world, paint with all the colors of the wind and what not, I need money. So I bartend. I do it well. And I am up for 2012 Bartender of the year and I would appreciate a vote or two. Want to vote? Do it here. Want to go to the Bartenders Ball and party with the party experts? Use GEORGIA as your Promo code and get $10 off your tickets.
10 reasons why you should vote for me!
1. I don't use plastic cups at work.
2. I can make 99% of drinks I am asked to make. Even those stupid ones some one thought was a good idea, but actually taste like cough syrup.
3. My name is Georgia. I have to actually explain my name when meeting new people. It's about a 5 minute process.
4. Sometimes I bartend with no clothes on like this. I'm on the right, not the left...
5. I wake up and piss excellence.
6. You're reading my blog.
8, 9, 10. Do you really need any more reasons? Vote!
10 reasons why you should vote for me!
1. I don't use plastic cups at work.
2. I can make 99% of drinks I am asked to make. Even those stupid ones some one thought was a good idea, but actually taste like cough syrup.
3. My name is Georgia. I have to actually explain my name when meeting new people. It's about a 5 minute process.
5. I wake up and piss excellence.
6. You're reading my blog.
8, 9, 10. Do you really need any more reasons? Vote!
I Dominated in Soccer Today
Yes, the 27yr old master of the GAWSA (Greater Atlanta Women's Soccer Association) today was me. Watch out Rampone, I'm moving up the ranks.
How did I dominate in this prestigious and highly competitive Rec soccer league? Oh, well, how about scoring ALL TWO of our goals leading us to a victory over the Fire Ants. That's right. How about pulling the ball up to their goal when we were down 3 players. How about a sweeeeeeet shot from midfield that swooshed over the keeper's head and into the eagerly awaiting goal.
Missed the game on ESPN 8, The Ocho? Please do not start a downward spiral resulting in publicized Harakiri. I'm pretty sure all my plays on this summer 7 v 7 field in Roswell, GA will be aired on the ESPN top 10. Too long to wait? This is pretty much how I looked the entire time.
How did I dominate in this prestigious and highly competitive Rec soccer league? Oh, well, how about scoring ALL TWO of our goals leading us to a victory over the Fire Ants. That's right. How about pulling the ball up to their goal when we were down 3 players. How about a sweeeeeeet shot from midfield that swooshed over the keeper's head and into the eagerly awaiting goal.
Missed the game on ESPN 8, The Ocho? Please do not start a downward spiral resulting in publicized Harakiri. I'm pretty sure all my plays on this summer 7 v 7 field in Roswell, GA will be aired on the ESPN top 10. Too long to wait? This is pretty much how I looked the entire time.
Monday, July 23, 2012
The Truth About the Underground Railroad
Him- "This guy on my route was telling me about these underground tunnels that go from strip club to strip club. I believe him because, you know, the Underground Railroad was really big in Atlanta."
Me- "The Underground Railroad wasn't really underground"
Him- "Yes it is. I've been there."
Me- "That was a MARTA station."
I had to walk away after this out of fear of catching the stupid. Really though, what do I know? During the Pre-Civil War times slaves could have been running out of Atlanta through Magic City and the Pink Pony. Harriet Tubman could have been Cherri Tubs on the weekends.
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