UT Kids Are Down With Alcohol Enemas

The Associated Press

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. —

The University of Tennessee is investigating allegations that fraternity members took alcohol enemas, leading one student to be hospitalized, and a national fraternity has suspended its chapter in Knoxville.
The Knoxville News Sentinel (http://bit.ly/Pndf7d) reports the practice came to light Saturday when a student was brought to a local hospital with alcohol poisoning. Police said his blood alcohol was measured at above 0.40, a level that can be fatal.
After questioning the young people who brought him to the emergency room, officers determined that he had consumed the alcohol rectally, Knoxville police said Monday. Authorities said the technique is supposed to enhance the effects of alcohol.
Police said he had received a wine enema at the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter house. Eleven students and a visitor there were cited for underage consumption of alcohol.

Times sure have change since I was in college.  Gone are the days of Edward 40 Hands, Star Wars Drinking Games, stupid card games that know one REALLY knows the rules to, and random concoctions of cheap liquor in a new trash can mixed with copious amount sTampico and Kool-aid.  Sit back and be nostalgic about those good ol' days because the new trend is here.  Enemas.  WTF.

Let's ignore the fact that since the dawn of alcohol, people have been drinking it.  With their mouths.  To produce warm fuzzy, euphoric, slutty effects.  Not so anymore.  Just spend $3 on a bottle of wine at Trader Joes and shove that straight into the pooper.  Celebrating a big Volunteer win?  Try some Andre or Cook's champagne.  The bubbles are divine.  Trust me, members of the opposite sex think this is a really sexy way to get sloppy drunk and take advantage of you.

What really gets me is TWELVE people were cited.  Were they all just standing around in a circle giving each other adult colon flushes?  What the hell is wrong with college kids these days?  Good god, shit like this makes me sound like my mother.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

So in my efforts to make a difference in the world, paint with all the colors of the wind and what not, I need money.  So I bartend.  I do it well.  And I am up for 2012 Bartender of the year and I would appreciate a vote or two. Want to vote?  Do it here. Want to go to the Bartenders Ball and party with the party experts? Use GEORGIA as your Promo code and get $10 off your tickets.

10 reasons why you should vote for me!

1. I don't use plastic cups at work.

2. I can make 99% of drinks I am asked to make.  Even those stupid ones some one thought was a good idea, but actually taste like cough syrup.

3. My name is Georgia.  I have to actually explain my name when meeting new people.  It's about a 5 minute process.

4. Sometimes I bartend with no clothes on like this. I'm on the right, not the left...

5. I wake up and piss excellence.

6. You're reading my blog.

8, 9, 10. Do you really need any more reasons? Vote!

I Dominated in Soccer Today

Yes, the 27yr old master of the GAWSA (Greater Atlanta Women's Soccer Association) today was me.  Watch out Rampone, I'm moving up the ranks.
 How did I dominate in this prestigious and highly competitive Rec soccer league?  Oh, well, how about scoring ALL TWO of our goals leading us to a victory over the Fire Ants.  That's right. How about pulling the ball up to their goal when we were down 3 players.   How about a sweeeeeeet shot from midfield that swooshed over the keeper's head and into the eagerly awaiting goal. 

Missed the game on ESPN 8, The Ocho?  Please do not start a downward spiral resulting in publicized Harakiri.  I'm pretty sure all my plays on this summer 7 v 7 field in Roswell, GA will be  aired on the ESPN top 10. Too long to wait? This is pretty much how I looked the entire time.